|
Neo Xmas Gift
|
As if it weren't enough that I couldn't hang out with my girlfriend the
whole break, she sends me these pictures on Christmas Day. A new type
of Christmas treat. Way to make me feel like flying 4 hours, honey.
|
|
Movies Are Here.
Well, not HERE, but they are
here.
Now, please be patient, if nothing happens when you hit that link, that MAY BE
OKAY. I put the movies on my home computer, so you are hitting a poor little
DSL line which MAY OR MAY NOT be on when you hit it. I'll try to keep it up as
long as I can. If you email me, I can tell you when my machine is up, if you
would like. Oh, it's just really complicated, so just do what you like.
*sheesh*
Super Sweatpants!
|
I am preparing to embark upon a journey into my crawlspace at home.
Therefore, I am wearing sweatpants that are a few sizes too small. Oh
boy, oh boy.
|
|
Snow Day!
|
Well, I was waiting, and here it came. Snow day. It snowed all night
and most of the morning. It was that fine, dusty kind of snow that just
floats on down to the ground, and covers everything in that thin sheet of
white.
I used to hang out at this park all the time when I was a young. The
dock has been totally revamped, I definitely don't remember launching
big wheels off of that dock. The "launchpad," as I shall refer to it now,
was a long, 'T' shaped, flat, wooden deck. Not fancy, just a plain white
'T'. But. That 'T' was long and flat. And that was just what we needed.
A long, flat runway. To launch our cycles into.
The fun thing about big wheels, is that they often float. I tried
riding a home-made bike into the lake. That banana-seat thing sank like
a rock. The good thing is, the lake is about 6 feet deep at any point.
That makes salvaging a bicycle out of the muck relatively easy.
I also used to play around on the spillway, climbing down and trying
to direct the feeble streams as they overflowed into the lower lake. The
picnic table and bench are new, though. There used to be nothing there
to hang out on. There are these old, neglected horseshoe pits that are
used I think once a year (maybe).
But these trees there have this knarly bark. It was great, my best
friend at the time and I would go grab some beers (we were maybe 12) from
an old bathtub that was for the 'adults,' and we would shake them up as
hard as we could, then chuck them against the trees. They would explode
in a shower of foam and twisted aluminum can. Oh, that shit was great.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Blurry Brett
|
Yet again, Brett has broken the speed record for light while I was taking
this photograph. I don't know how he does it, and when interrogated, he
does not capitulate his secret. Grr. Foiled yet again.
|
|
M & M fish. Yummy.
|
Well, I have to say that I am indeed proud of myself today. I helped
to organize and make this little fish. Out of M&Ms. It was good. And
it was a happy fish. Swimming in the ocean of blue tiles. Good fishy.
|
|
Video Conferencing, At Last!
|
Well, we finally figured it out. We just had to do that thing with the
switch, and the doohicky with the reset, and the IP subnet mask firewall
framistat. And then, presto perfecto! Video conferencing works!
So my parents and I talked long distance to my brother's family
via a little robotic camera, and the teased me about my short hair. I
tell ya, a guy can't get any slack around here without any hair. That's
okay, I'm not going to complain too much.
It was nice to chat with them, and we saw some neat things, like
Kristin's grandfather on the wall. Oops, I mean that sax musician.
And the fabulous bassinet. And other baby things that will be used
very very shortly.
|
|
|
|
Sparkies For Lunch
|
Chad and I met at Sparkies, a little Englewood steakhouse. Good food,
we had some yummy nachos. But this little swanky place had an upstairs
bar and lounge. Quite swanky!
|
|
|
New Year's Party!
|
New Year's Eve party. Brett was so kind as to host all of us at his
house-sitting gig. What a good time. He recorded the event with this
laptop and camera, taking time-lapse images every ten minutes. I think
we got on there for the toast at midnight.
|
|
|
The candy configured in such a way as to optimize its consumption and
availability. For a robot maybe. I mean, it's way too angular to be
optimized for human consumption. It should have flowing lines, and
something that activates your eye. The Toblerone is way to static for
anything that is attractive to a human. Unless of course, you want to
swordfight with the Toblerone.
|
|
|
Brett shows off his time lapse video setup. It impressed me, I have
to admit. He's running it off his Mac laptop, which is also quite
impressive, and ... OH MY GOD! Is that homemade guacamole? Let me
at that shit, yo!
|
|
|
Brett holds a box that was laying around the house. Now I know that
there's alot of hot air being blown around about cloning, and about
how cool it is going to be when we have our evil twins running around.
It's just the whole "spare body" part that I don't understand. And
how does Brett know that the spare in that box is for him?
|
|
|
Dudley, the kindest dog that I met. He just likes to get attention,
and I just like giving it, so we hit it off perfectly. If you notice,
he is half sitting on the stairs, and half standing. I don't know if
that is comfortable, but I guess so, because he was chilling there
before I took the picture, and continued to chill there after.
|
|
|
Brett plays video games. I don't know how he did it, but he started
playing games, and then all of a sudden, BAM, he was playing video
games on THE SUN. I kid you not. I wouldn't believe it myself,
if I didn't see it with my own digital camera.
|
|
|
Jeff plays F-Zero. This racing game is for the racing game fan who
just cannot sniff enough coke. The game goes at a million miles an
hour, and you can't help but bang into the walls the first time you
play it. Okay, maybe I totally suck, but it is intense.
|
|
|
The host and one of his guests. I don't remember the conversation at
this point in the night, so I'll just ad-lib what I remember. "Did
you say 'Pickle?' That's an awesome name for a band!"
|
|
|
Jeff and Amanda, chillin'. Amanda tastes some of Brett's scrumptious
treats. I think this was before the cheese got too stale from being
out too long. But it was good cheese. Before the stale part, I mean.
|
|
|
Brett gets his booty smacked. I don't know what prompted this sudden
outburst of violence, I just know that I got it on file. Just to be
in an obscure and unrelated court case in the future, I'm sure of it.
|
|
|
Beating brett continued for a while. In this episode, Brett believes
that the vengeful god represented by Amy wants to gouge out his eyes
and use them as lubricant in his new cloning device. So he is trying
to protect his eyes. But in reality, Amy is just punching him where
she can reach. His shoulder.
|
|
|
Jeff shows Amanda just exactly how to work a corkscrew. The lesson
material that Jeff drew from dates back to the 1920s, as more and more
people had to figure out how to tap into bootleg liquor. Except I
don't think this liquor is bootleg. In which case, forget all that.
|
|
|
Brett doges the powerful photon torpedo that comes out of the digital
camera. I have to admire his efforts, and he seems to enjoy it, but I
don't have the heart to tell him that he's just not fast enough. I mean,
it's not my fault if I have superior technology, is it?
|
|
|
Jeff and Matt are keeping the food company, and Jeff takes his best shot
at being a blogger. Well, Jeff, it takes many many years of passionate
study and nearly monk-like lifestyle in order to be a great blogger.
What do you mean, "How would you know?"
|
|
|
Jon and Karl arrive at the party at last. Some of us at the party were
found to be saying to ourselve or out loud, "Where are Jon and Karl?"
at various times during the evening. Strangely enough, after they
arrived, those of us asking the previously-mentioned question were no
longer asking that question. Strange, indeed.
|
|
|
Brett wanted to take a picture of some people at the party, but then this
wierd white ball of lightning came up to him while he was holding the
camera. I reacted like a Roya Python, and took a picture of it. He
still denies that it ever happened.
|
|
|
Well, I can't say that I always like pictures of myself, since I'm so
used to being on the other side of the camera. But this one. It speaks
to me. It says, "dude." To which I reply, "duude." Ad infinitum.
Courtesy of Jeff.
|
|
|
This time, I shot a little low, and got the lower half of Brett's face.
I wonder if this would line up with this
picture? I haven't tried, I'd be interested to know if that works.
If anyone figures it out, please email me.
|
|
|
Jeff delights in the camera kidnapping and use. What was he taking a
picture of? I couldn't tell you. And anyway, do you ever REALLY know
what someone is taking a picture of? I mean, what if their perception
is unique, and the recording and playback of that same image to someone
else does not elicit the same reaction? Does that mean that you two are
not looking at the same image? Because if it was the same, wouldn't it
ellicit the same response? Anyway...
|
|
|
Jeff is either holding a weapon of some sort, offering a drink to
someone, or preparing to perform hara-kiri. For the sake of the
party, if nothing else, I was personally glad that it was number
two in that list.
|
|
|
Jon gets booted in the head. At some point, he got into a conversation
and issued the challenge, "I bet you can't kick me in the head." I
believe that's how the conversation went. So, in order to win that bet,
Jon takes a foot to the head. Jeff wants some action, too, so he jumps
on in there, too.
|
|
|
Jeff, after being assualted and harrassed by Amanda, is set free again.
Responding to the question as to why Jeff was assaulted, Amanda replies,
"Well, if I don't know where sunlight comes from, who does?" Enough
said on the topic.
|
|
|
At this point in the night, the O'Connor clan, hoping to aspire to their
Irish roots, pin down one of the guests and beat the snickers out of him.
Okay, that's no what happened, but it looks like it's about to happen,
doesn't it?
|
|
|
Amanda is delighted. At what, we don't know. Could it be laminated
spark plugs? Perhaps. An electrified howler monkey blanket? Maybe?
The flawless performance of the orgasmatron? Absolutely.
|
|
|
Brett has eyeballs. This was news to me, I thought that as a robot,
he didn't need eyeballs. But it turns out he does! And he's also not
a robot! I almost didn't get it, but then I realized that robots don't
drink beer! Wait, what if they do?
Also, does this image fit on top of this
one?
|
|
|
The Sharpe started going around, and the Sharpe tattoo fest began. This
specimen is a limited edition and limited distribution tattoo. It has
the words "high" and "tech" abbreviated to "hi" and "tek," in addition to
a hyphen. This makes the value of this Sharpe tattoo a MILLION dollars.
|
|
|
Brett tries to weasel his way through the doggie door in the garage. We
didn't believe it could happen, so he decided he would prove us wrong.
Well, that didn't work out well, so he changed his mind, and showed us
just what it looked like when he got stuck.
|
|
|
The party goes on, and someone pulls out the Sharpe permanent marker.
Then the tattoos start appearing. I totally dug this tattoo. Talk about
tough, too. I mean, damn. Summit what?
|
|
|
Jeff gets his knuckles tattooed. What a badass, I mean, if you ask me,
I would have to say that Jeff is a badass. In the true sense of the word,
too. No dinkin' around.
|
|
|
This picture makes me think that the ghost of Brett came to visit us at
the party. He's got this really eerie ghoulish type look in his eyes.
It might just be the Near-IR on the camera, but then again. It might just
be the ghost of Brett.
|
|
|
Amanda and Karl exchange pleasantries in an odd moment during the party.
They took a break from the caged death-match for an instant to catch their
breath. Nobody would believe me, either. I mean, how often do you get
to have a caged death-match at a New Year's party?
|
|
|
Brett flexes his WERD muscles. Well, I guess he's flexing his knuckles
here. Not his muscles. So just forget about what I said earlier. Those
are definitely his knuckles. And I think that's Brett, but now I'm not
sure of that, either...
|
|
|
Cory executes some massive swing dancing moves at the party with Amy.
It's all the swinging that I don't understand. I mean, I was all about
the swing set when I was a kid, but now I'm just in the dark. No idea
what the excitement is all about. Regardless, Cory's damn good at this
stuff.
|
|
|
I do think that Jon or Brett took this picture. I can't recall at this
point, not due to massive brain hemmoraging or memory loss, just plain
old...memory loss. Anyway, Jeff and I are obviously thrilled to have
our pictures taken, so we demonstrate it in this manner. Hope you like
it.
|
|
|
The device named the orgasmotron went around from head to head, and the
orgasmotronating occurred on more than one instance. This thing had
copper wires that could be formed to just about any shape, and when
arranged in such a way that one's head could just barely fit inside of
it, then it felt really durn good. Thus, the name.
|
|
|
Cory begins to breakdance. I think he's just showing off, because I mean,
ANYBODY can do that. My pinky can breakdance as well as Cory can. What?
You want me to show you? Well, I would... it's just... my pinky's tired
from winning the WORLD BREAKDANCING CHAMPIONSHIPS OF DOOM. Yeah, it was
yesterday. I hope you understand.
|
|
|
|
Jon performs the slap dance. I was informed that this was just "something
that Jon does" every once and a while. I figured, "cool." So I watched,
and took some of these photographs. I hope they mean as much to you as
they do to me.
|
|
|
Jon is one of the few people who can get their picture taken and actually
not be doing what it is I photograph them doing. Okay, that didn't make
too much sense, so I'll put it this way: Jon is not tripping in the near
to immediate future in this picture. He's actually dancing. Alhtough it
looks like he's tripping. He's not. Get over it.
|
|
|
At one point, Jon decided to show us what it would be like if we all got
really drunk, and flew to the sun. So we did, and even though it was
really really really really hot, Jon still insisted on wearing his hat.
He said it was because 30% of his body lost it's heat through his head.
I was skeptical of that.
|
|
|
Cory begins scratching the imaginary turntables. I say, more power to ya,
buddy. But then Cory thought I was an inflatable llama, and tried to
hitch me to the nearest post. I wasn't feeling it, so I decided to tell
him that there WERE NO TURNTABLES. I regret that to this day.
|
|
|
Brett and Paul stand on the landing, surveying the party. Brett decided
at some point, that it would be a good idea to photograph all these
drunken, dancing fools in all their glory. Good idea Brett. Blackmail,
it's the profession of the future.
|
|
|
Some of the dancin' fools bustin' up their favorite songs. Hopping,
skipping and jumping. All the way to grandmother's house. Wait a minute,
that's not the way the song goes! Oh well, keep jumping around...
|
|
|
Paul and Amy chillin'. Just hanging out, doing nothing in particular.
At least, THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK. Just don't let them out
of your sight, then they start stealing and eating your children. Well,
maybe just talking to them, BUT STILL. If I had children, that might
freak me out just a little bit too much. Maybe that's why I don't yet
have children. Hm. I don't think I took these pictures, maybe Jeff?
|
|
|
|
Okay, Amy looks completely wicked in this picture. I think she was
directing the evil at the photographer at the time. I think the
photographer at the time was Jeff. So that means that Amy wants to eat
Jeff's children. I think. Not positive about that one.
|
|
|
I think Jeff took this picture, too. I'm not too sure what he was going
for, but I'm guessing it's some kind of angle on world hunger.
|
|
|
I think at this point, I should have taken the camera away from Jeff. He
took this picture, too. Amy looks definitely mischevious, and I can't
tell if she just broke something, or what.
|
|
|
Jeff scratches the remainder of the song on his fly zipper. This is
called talent. I don't care where you are from, this is crazy stuff
to watch. I almost jumped in there myself. I just didn't have a fly
at the time.
|
|
|
|
I walked around the island of food and wine, and took pictures of everyone
at the party. I think this is after New Year's, and we're all just
basking in our post-toast glory. Which is quite glorious. I mean,
just look at the photographs, yo.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kirsten and Amanda hang out. A bonding moment, fragile and delicate like
a catepillar's old cocoon, still gently swaying in the spring breeze.
Promptly crushed by the brute force of the camera flash, I'm sure.
|
|
|
Brett battles it out with his arch-nemesis in Madden 2004. It started out
civil enough, with the polite gestures, and the condescending "good play,"
complements. But soon, the insults were flying, and the folding chairs
were brought into the brawl. Okay, maybe that was another party...
|
|
|
Jon has since mellowed out since the knee-slapping incident, and now he
is just like a big puppy dog. With no fur. And a knit cap. And standing
on two legs. Whoah. You're right, that is a freaky lookin' dog.
|
|
|
Some might hypothesis as to why anyone would create such a thing, living
in the desert. But then again, in the tropical rainforest, such a thing
as an "umbrella" might actually come in handy. To this, I got no
sympathetic listeners.
|
|
|
Madden 2004 over Brett's shoulder. I bet he went blind when I took this
photograph, with the glare off of the television and all. I think maybe
that is why he lost the game. Because of the recurring flashing lights.
Oh, who am I kidding? It's all the bad drugs...
|
|
|
Jeff gets really sleepy, and keels over on the recliner next to Amanda.
At this point in the evening, people were fading, all the mad dancing
and crazy drinking and eating were taxing their tired heads. Silly
sleepyheads.
|
|
|
Everybody packed into the television room to watch Brett battle for his
life in Madden 2004. We had planned to take the loser upstairs and do
something quite evil, but we changed our minds when we saw that Brett
was losing so badly. We didn't want to hurt him, just scare him. So we
didn't hurt him at all. Although he may still be scared just the same.
|
|
|
Although one might think that Brett is not very good at video games
because he lost one game of Madden 2004, that is not necessarily the
case. I'll have you know that Brett schooled Jeff at SSX3. Then me.
Then Kirsten. Then Jeff. Then me again. It was a viscious cycle.
|
|
|
Amanda dozes off in the comfy leather chairs that surround the video game
wall and audience. Oblivious to the world, she didn't seem to notice our
excitement at playing video games. Not noticing at all. Maybe if we draw
something on her forhead, then she'll notice...
|
|
|
The last game of the evening, Brett versus Kirsten in a head-to-head SSX3
challenge. Of course, we know who won. I mean, it was silly for any of
us to think that we could hold a candle to the MASTER, Brett. I will
forever hold my head in shame for ever thinking I could do so. That is,
until I buy the game and BEAT IT MYSELF! MUhahaha....
|
|
Broadway To Denver.
|
On Broadway, looking up toward Denver. A straight shot all the way up
north to downtown. This is the view from my neck of the woods. At
least the neck of the woods that I grew up in. That car is not driving,
it is stopped at a stoplight. And so am I. I don't want to cause a
panic, you know, people thinking that I'm taking pictures while driving.
|
|
The parents.
|
My parents, at dinner. This restaurant was also a really dark place.
I thought that I would not use the flash, but then they got really
grainy. It's not their fault. The color balance was also extrememly
hot. Even though I white balanced on the check at the table before
taking the picture.
|
|
Sunrise Through the Trees
|
The sunrise slowly creeping up behind the trees in my neighbor's yard.
At 6:45, the sun had tinged the clouds a dark violet, so dark that this
picture taken with the digital camera was quite grainy at full size.
If that means nothing, this scene was barely lighter than pitch black.
|
|
Aquarium Adventures
Gaming, gaming, gaming.
|
An evening of ps2 and gamecube and beer. Of course. Good games, and
an expressive performance or two by a melodramatic loser or two.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lots of Equipment.
|
The family's office, and the racks of equipment stuck in the corner.
It is kind of meditative, listening to it hum...
|
|
Tunnel of DOOM.
|
Looking into a repeating tunnel of doom. This effect is created by
aiming the video camera into the screen of the computer. Image the image
and create a tunnel. Of DOOM.
|
|
Mega-Food-Buster-Bonus-Super Happy.
|
This was the spread at the beginning of the party. Unfortunately,
I didn't stick around long enough for the end of the party.
|
|
Bowtie. Or Ribbon.
|
Dad gets creative with his extra christmas ribbons. We don't let him
out often enough.
|
|
Mother Made a Mess
|
This is what happens when you whip cream without the manufacturer's
suggested equipment. It's okay, though. She's only messy once a year.
|
|
More Mountain Horizons
|
The horizon, and the mountains as you come down the hill, under Sante
Fe on C-470. And the dashboard, where my camera was resting.
|
|
|
